Coming Undone
by Shadow Rain
Summary: WIP: When Sam starts to feel her world fall apart, who or what will save her from falling to pieces? RR Please.
1. In Dreams, Reality Seems Fatal

Author's Note: I do not own Stargate, Stargate SG-1, or Stargate Atlantis. Those are property of MGM, and while I would _love_ to own Stargate, I sadly do not. I don't even own the S+J ship, nor do I own Jack O'Neill. Which causes me great sadness. But the story is what you're here for. Just don't sue me.

Jax, xoxo

**Chapter One – In Dreams, Reality Seems Fatal**

Sam sighed. It was another day at the SGC, another day where she had to pretend, and another day lying to herself to make herself feel better—that it wasn't the end of the world that the love of her life was right before her and she just couldn't get him.

"It's just not fair…" she muttered to herself while she was cleaning up her lab as best she could. Not many people were privy to the fact that she tended to mutter to herself. Usually, people thought that she just thought out loud when it concerned complex and logic-requiring situations. But lately, all she did was mutter to herself, and she was starting to know the reasons why.

But she brushed those ideas aside when someone knocked on her door. Part of her expected Jack, but she corrected herself. _"Of course it's not Jack you idiot. He's sleeping like a **normal** person would at two in the morning."_ She paused, and then whispered to herself, "then again, a person is still knocking on my lab door at two in the morning."

Staying up late was not what you would call 'uncommon' in the SGC base, but most persons in the base tried to get as much sleep as possible. Usually, scientists and high ranking officials tried to get more sleep because their jobs tended to be more demanding. Sam Carter, however, was an exception. Sleeping for her was becoming less and less crucial to her daily life. Whenever she noticed this, she brushed it aside; she didn't really want to think about _why_ she had stopped sleeping so much.

Another and louder knock on the door pulled her out of her reverie. Without another thought as to Jack, she opened the door. She couldn't have been more surprised.

"Pete!" she exclaimed, partially worried and partially confused. It didn't help much when she saw the person behind Pete. "Sir?" she asked worriedly to a rather disgruntled General Jack O'Neill.

Jack partially glared at her, at which Sam cringed. Although the cringe was very small and Sam hid it rather well, it didn't pass Jack whose eyes softened slightly and the chocolate eyes that she loved—no, she didn't love—danced. As she looked closer, she noticed that underneath his eyes were darker circles of purple; he hadn't been sleeping well lately. To prove this, Jack yawned, and caused Sam to stop staring and look at Pete whose visit was entirely too unexpected and unwarranted to allow her to feel comfort.

"Hey Pete. Why are you here…?" Sam asked. She scolded herself for sounding so ungracious, but she figured she could pass it off as being exhausted. _"You are exhausted"_ she thought to herself. _"When was the last time I got a good nights sleep…? You don't need sleep anymore."_ As Sam fought with herself, she heard Jack say,

"Yeah, Pete, why _are_ you here at two am waking me up to get your ass down here to talk to your fiancée? Couldn't you call? …In the morning? When it's sunny? You know?"

Pete turned to Jack and glared at him. "I'm sorry, General, but last time I checked there wasn't a law against my visiting my _ex_-fiancée—"

"Ex?" Jack questioned curiously. "Sam never told me about your breaking up."

"Well of _course_ she didn't. It wouldn't make sense to tell your superior officer that they were madly in love with them. Now if you'll excuse me I'd like to talk to Sa—"

Sam had heard enough that she knew that Jack had snapped his head up in her general direction. She also knew that her face was going to turn as red as a tomato in less than a few seconds. So, she did what she felt was the best idea: she quickly walked out of the room as fast as she could without falling, and as soon as she turned out of the doorway, she sprinted. As she ran, she heard the yells of Pete and Jack resound throughout the hallway and she saw the security guards start to stare at her. But she had to get away. She didn't want to tell Jack that way, and she didn't want Pete to still be around.

The more she thought about it, the harder she ran. She ran past the elevator—too monitored for her preference—and ran up the stairs towards ground level. She didn't care that it was seven flights. She took the stairs two at a time and practically burst out the door when she came to the top. She ran out to the SGC garden—an idea that was commissioned by the government to allow the SGC members a feeling of an outdoor garden at home—and fell down, panting and practically sobbing on the cold wet grass.

As she started to doze off, she murmured to herself about how cold she was. As she slipped into unconsciousness, she swore she heard the fuzzy voice of Jack telling her that it was okay. Then, warm arms around her carrying her back—_"have I gotten married to Pete? No! I couldn't have!"—_ and a warm voice telling her it was okay.

Sam Carter blacked out.


	2. Awkward Visits

**Chapter Two – Awkward Visits**

Sam woke with a start, covered in sweat. She had dreamed that dream far too many times now, and every time she found herself falling off her bed and guards banging on her door asking her why she was screaming. Every time she had to assure them pitifully that it was just _another_ nightmare and that she was fine. This time was no different.

"Yes, I'm OKAY!" Sam yelled to the guards on the other side of the metal door. Then a voice that she really didn't want to hear came through amongst the din of the other guards. "SAMANTHA CARTER, LET ME IN OR…"

Sam rushed to the door, trying to push her hair into a somewhat decent-looking style while thanking god that she wore nice looking pajamas to bed last night. Then, hoping to herself that it wouldn't be horribly important, she opened the door and hid her body behind it so that only her face would show and looked into the face of her superior, General Jack O'Neill of the SGC. She wished she hadn't, because her insides had suddenly seemed to become that of jelly rather than what they were originally.

"Sir…?" She asked tentatively.

Jack looked at her quizzically as if no normal person would hide behind their doors on any occasion and strode into the room with uneven steps like he was prone to doing whenever he was in one of those moods. Those "moods" were categorized by Sam and they consisted of amusement, when cynical or skeptic thought ruled over any other thought, or when Jack just didn't feel like doing anything better than walking in his mismatched huge leaps of steps.

It was with this type of step that Jack entered Sam's room. As she closed the door on the guards, Jack turned to her and looked at her with a questioning face. She opted to ignore this as she walked over to her bed and sat down, and then when she couldn't ignore his stare anymore she looked up, which she realized was probably a bad idea because it prompted Jack to speak.

"Want to tell me what's up?" he asked, although Sam knew full well he figured the answer was going to be 'no.'

"There isn't anything going on, Sir" she heard herself say, although she knew that was a lie. _He _knew that was a lie too, and verified that by scoffing at her comment.

"Carter, as a general and the leader of Stargate Command I need to know how my personnel are doing. That includes you."

"Really sir, I'm fine." Sam tried to tell him, but she knew that her lies were starting to sound worse; her voice was starting to falter as she was trying to find words that would help her point. Realizing there were no words that would help her _"Unless I want to lose my job" _she thought bitterly, she sighed.

"So screaming out 'I don't want to marry Pete' means nothing, right?" Jack asked and Sam gasped. She didn't realize she had spoken in her sleep.

"What else have I said!" Sam exclaimed.

And Jack then did something that she thought was unexpected for the situation; he laughed.

"Sir?" Sam asked, feeling heat creeping down her neck to above her collarbone. She knew that if she looked down, she'd be blushing.

"Nothing that the betting pools would've _loved_ to hear, Carter," Jack responded.

"Uh… betting pools? Sir, I'm sorry, but it was just a nightmare. I _do_ want to marry Pete, and I've just been under a lot of stress with work and _commanding _SG-1," she added, putting stress on 'commanding' as if to show to Jack that she wished he hadn't left. Noting this, Jack's eyes—which had been looking around the room before—snapped to Sam with some unknown harshness.

"Right, Carter. I'm expecting you to be in the briefing room at 1100 hours. Is that clear?"

She sighed. "Yes Sir."

"Right then. I'm going to go to resume my paperwork." Sam half-grinned at him.

"You mean your Gameboy, Sir?" He glared at her, something that she wasn't expecting. He then turned and walked out with the same stride that he came in with, and after hearing the door close, Sam sighed.

It was going to be a long day.

**A/N: **_I am not going to be updating until I get more reviews. Yes, I have chapters that I can put up. But in the great word-speak of Teal'c, I require reviews, O'Neill. So feed me, and you'll be rewarded. I also really appreciate constructive criticism._

_Oh, and SG-1 still isn't mine. pouts_


	3. Plotting and Hoping

Disclaimer: nope, not mine. although I wish I could say Jack O'Neill was mine. :(

**Chapter Three – Plotting and Hoping**

Sam headed down to the cafeteria for breakfast, grudgingly smiling to Daniel and Teal'c along the way. How could someone be so freaking happy at… Sam looked at her watch, …seven in the morning! She went over to get some suspicious-looking pancakes and poured syrup on them as she went over to the table that SG-1 usually sat at.

"Hey guys, how're you?" Sam asked with a sound of cheeriness that she didn't know she was capable of at the time.

"…Coffee…" was all that she managed to hear from Daniel, who was speaking not to her, but to his coffee cup.

Teal'c, however, ever the stoic and calm one, gave a more helpful response. "I am good, Major Carter. My Kel-No-Reem was very good last night. I was able to determine a conclusion to a minor difficulty I have been struggling with."

"That's… great, Teal'c." Sam smiled at him, questioningly. She had no idea what "minor difficulty" he was talking about, but she decided it couldn't be too important, because he hadn't told them about it.

It was at this point that Daniel looked up from his coffee cup, and looked to Sam. "God, Sam, you look horrible. Have you been sleeping well, lately?"

Sam blanched. She knew that Daniel would've been able to pick up on her issue, but she was half-hoping that he wouldn't. Instead, she took a breath and said, "Not really, too much time in the lab, I guess" she said half-heartedly.

Daniel gave her a look that clearly told her he wasn't buying it.

"Really," she said, but she knew that it didn't sound anything but a lie. _"I really have to get better at lying…"_ she thought, but she had little time to mull over this as she had to get to her lab before the briefing. She excused herself quickly and got out of the mess hall faster than Daniel's record of drinking a cup of coffee (twenty seconds), which was a rather impressive feat.

Daniel looked to Teal'c, and in response, Teal'c raised his eyebrow.

"Do you suppose the marriage is bothering her that much?" Daniel asked Teal'c, but Teal'c's answer was relatively unhelpful:

"I do not know, DanielJackson. Perhaps asking Major Carter herself would be a wise in providing solution to your question."

"_Sometimes,"_ Daniel mused, _"Teal'c really could do to be a bit more helpful…"_

Sam ran to her lab after the briefing, (which had somehow managed to get delayed for four hours) looking for the solace that found in complex numbers, harsh reasoning, and cold logic. She entered and only groaned to have images of Jack flash through her mind. He would come looking for her, to bug her after she was okay. He'd never really admit to either of these things, but she knew that he felt it was necessary to make sure that she was okay. It was just their bond showing through, knowing that they would always count on one another because they just could.

_"Not that he can anymore, you're marrying Pete."_ Sam scolded herself.

_"Of course he can count on me! Besides, he was the one who told me to get a life!"_

_"Yeah, but you don't always follow the rules, do you?"_

_"Whose side are you on, anyway? Sam, you're supposed to be supporting yourself, not try to get rid of your fiancée whom you love a **lot**."_

_"Riiiiight. So Jack isn't anything at all."_

"Oh shut up. Jack is the most amazing man ever. He's smart (although he doesn't readily admit it, he's ho—handsome, he's nice, he's sweet, he's generally all that I would ever want in—" Sam retorted to herself out loud.

"Oh shit," Sam muttered. "I am so screwed."

"Why?" Daniel said, standing in the threshold of Sam's lab.

"Daniel! How long have you been standing there?" Sam asked, feeling dread and the heat form in her cheeks and creep down towards her neck.

"Long enough to hear you say a few things that you should probably tell Jack…

He just went home, Sam; he accidentally got glass pieces in his hand and he suspiciously needs a new computer monitor. Anyway, you should probably see him, because, well… You need to explain a few things to him. Especially since—"

"Daniel, I think I'm okay. I was… just talking about how I could try to set him up with one of my friends!" Sam blanched though, because she didn't want _that_ catastrophe to ever happen. "I need to see Pete anyway. I'd better go." Sam walked out of her lab, cursing herself for not closing the door, and went to go meet up with Pete to go out to dinner with him. God, tonight looked like it was going to suck.

However, in Sam's hurry, she had forgotten that she had left a scribble on her note pad saying that she had an appointment to meet up with Pete and go out to dinner with him the previous night to try to tell him that she wanted the engagement off. However, she couldn't work up enough courage, and so because that no one knew, she had forgotten. She had finally managed to work up enough courage after the briefing today to call Pete and asked to talk to him over diner tonight, but now she was questioning her resolve. Nevertheless, her notepad was left open on her desk table where she had been examining a new alien machine from a newly discovered world.

Daniel went over to it, curious to see about the new device that they had managed to obtain. As he read the recount of the prior night's events however, his eyes widened in surprise. _"So she had already tried to tell him…"_ Daniel thought to himself.

Armed with this new knowledge, Daniel strode out of the room and went to find Teal'c, with whom he would hopefully be able to concoct a plan that would get Sam and Jack together that would get them to talk.

A/N: okay, so I'm in school now, so while I'm working on writing chapters, it's rather hard when you've got homework in an excelled college program thing. soooo, be patient, and if you feed me enough reviews, I will give you more chapters, my lovelies. ;)

Jax, xoxo


	4. Collisions

Disclaimer: still not mine. but jack sooooo should be. or daniel. my little black dress daniel. :D

_A/N: sorry it's taken so long for me to update. school has been a real... well, let's just say it's not been very pleasant. I'm sorry to all those I had to make wait. However, here's an update, and hopefully another one will be soon. As always, review if you want more. I love you all. :)_

**Chapter Four – Collisions**

Sam hurried over to Pete's car, where she quickly got in and pecked him on the cheek. She didn't really feel like actually kissing him; he might've wanted to do a little more than just a small greeting kiss.

"Hey Sam. How's work?"

"Not bad," Sam grumbled to him.

"Any aliens that you've blown up?" Pete asked hopefully.

"You know I can't tell you that stuff," Sam reprimanded him. God, it was so much easier around Jack; he actually knew everything already. It was his **job** to know everything that happened with the G'ould. "Where's the restaurant?" She said, changing the subject.

"Oh, it's a couple of miles from here. You wanna get going?"

Sam smiled at him. He was a sweet guy… Maybe it wouldn't be so hard actually being married to him… If only she wasn't in love with someone else. "Yeah, let's get going."

"Well I have to show you a surprise, but we can wait until afterwards, okay?"

"Sounds great…" Sam said, sounding somewhat too cheerful for how she felt. Fortunately, Pete didn't seem to notice it.

The car ride went by without much talking, the silence making Sam both comfortable and increasingly anxious as they reached towards the restaurant. Sam didn't bank on staying long; Pete probably wouldn't want to stay with her once she had told him what was going to happen.

They were seated at a small table with a great view overlooking a small pond with little goldfish swimming around in circles. The patio below was decorated in small, festive, glittery lights that cast small little halo-like glows around the pond and the fish inside. The twilight shimmered slightly with the potential of numerous stars, but only a few seemed to have come out of their darkness to greet the eyes of the people below them.

Sam glanced nervously at Pete, who was scanning the list of rather expensive red wines. _"Well, now or never, I suppose…"_ Sam thought, and cleared her throat tentatively. "Uh, Pete?"

Pete looked up from the wine list, and looked at her gently. "Yeah, Sam?"

"I… um… uh… well, Pete, I think we should… um, well, it's kind of hard for me to say this… but, uh… I think…" She trailed off, wondering how she could phrase it without doing so much damage.

"Sam, you're getting me kind of worried…"

"Pete, I think that it would be best for the both of us if we called the marriage off. I feel like you're missing a big part of my life by not working with me in… my job, and it's become a big strain—"

Pete jumped up and cut her off. "What do you _mean_, the marriage is going to be called off? Are you insane, Samantha? You promised me we would get married! I even have the house, which I was going to show you later on, with the kitchen you wanted and everything! And don't give me this bullshit about how your job is the thing that's pulling us apart. It's **_him_**," he finished venomously, turning slightly pink. "And you're not even allowed to love him, Samantha. You're his second in command. You're his junior officer, and you would be caught and turned in and court marshaled. You have no chance with Gen. Jack O'Neill. And it's a shame that you had to forget that and ruin your chances with me." Pete had raised his voice ever so slightly, but it didn't matter, because his stomping away from the dinner table had caused enough commotion for most of the restaurant to pay attention to their table.

Sam was still shocked however, about Pete's outburst towards Jack. Her eyes were smarting, because Pete had told her Jack would never love her. How could that be possible? Weren't there always situations that made it obvious they liked each other…? Sam didn't know anymore. However, she knew that she had to call someone to get her home.

…It was just her luck that Jack was the only one who answered his cell phone.


End file.
